1. You spend $18 in entry fees, $25 in gas, $100 in lodging and meals, all for a .50 ribbon.
2. Your family room has crates in it.
3. You have extra cleaning bills for the squished up liver ground into the pockets of your jacket, pants, skirt...
4. When buying a new house, the first thing you check is whether the yard is good enough! 5. When you're shopping for a new dress, and decide against one that is beautiful and really flatters you
because it doesn t have pockets for bait.
6. When your main consideration in buying a new pair of shoes
is whether they have non-skid soles so you won't fall while gaiting your dog.
7. When almost every color of dress in your closet is the same, because that is the color that best compliments your dog - even if it's a terrible color for you.
8. When your family reunion and dog show falls on the same weekend, and jou send your apologies to the family.
9. Every conversation you have eventually mentions dogs, even if you're talking about flowers, libraries, reading, whatnot.
10. When you're short on money and are more worried about whether the dogs have enough food for the month, than about your own groceries.
11. When you can't remember someone's name, but you say, "Oh, you know, Fido's owner". 12. When the first thing you do is say, "Hi Fido!" and only then say hello to Fido's owner. But you forget their name.
13. When you rip out all the carpets and replace them with tile to avoid fleas and be easier to clean, and then bring in carpet scraps to make beds so the dogs don't have to sit on the cold floor.
14. In meetings and other conversations, you use similes and metaphors that relate to dog training, like "He's bristling around like an alpha, and we're going to have to roll him over and grab his throat to get his attention." (that one usually shakes up the management pretty good).
15. Or when you start telling your children, "Sit! Stay!"
16. When you can pick up smelly dog poop with just a baggie and not think twice about it. And then carry it nonchalantly all over God's creation until you can find a trash can to dump it in. Or stick it in a pocket until then.
17. Someone says, "She's a rotten bitch" you look to see what dog they're talking about.
18. Or when your daughter tells you, in frustration, "There are other things in the world besides dogs", and you can't figure out what.
19. When a wedding is being planned for your son, and he asks first if that weekend has any majors,or could they schedule the wedding then...
20. You stop wearing your clothes because the dogs chewed out your pockets from the outside.
21. You go to the local park and look at the dogs running around the park and see all the faults.
22. Vacations are planned around Specialties and Cycle Obedience events.
23. Or when your only non-dog friend comes over and asks, "What is that smell?" and you have no idea what she is talking about.
24. If your dog doesn't like someone, instead of apologizing, you ask them to leave.
25. You refer to a kid's personalities as temperament.
26. Your pajamas have a bait pocket.
27. You go to a Walt Disney movie and watch Pluto's gait.
28. You see an attractive girl walking a dog and you look at the dog first.
29. When you meet an old friend at ringside - and first greet their dog!
30. When you know people by what dog they own.
31. You never talk to your neighbors, but you know the names and breed of every dog for blocks. You immediately notice if a new dog moves in.
32. Discussing worming a dog in a spaghetti restaurant seem normal.
33. When someone calls you a bitch and you take it as a compliment.
34. All you do is look up dogs on the Internet.
35. Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.
36. The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
37. You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose prints all over the inside.
38. Your dog sleeps with you.
39. You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but they understand.
40. You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
41. You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.
42. You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kids.
43. You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.
44. You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.
45. You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go to themovies with your friends.
46. You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you.
47. You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for pick-ups pops out.
48. You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip-deep in water.
49. You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.
50. Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.
51. You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).
52. You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.
53. You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.
54. You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.
55. You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs its walk.
56. Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
57. Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).
58. You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first floor).
59. Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.
60. You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too).
61. You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all its favorite spots.
62. You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
63. You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.
64. You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.
65. Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site.